The branch I was trying to cut was a little out of reach so I gave my friend the running chainsaw so that I could climb higher. My friend carefully took the machine but I swung my hand to get a grip of the tree and my arm unexpectedly was on the blade of the chain saw. It took some skin tissue off fortunately no blood vessel was cut. Blood was oozing out slowly and my friend rushed to get the first aid kit.
Days later I was looking at my wound and how it was healing and remembered the saying; ‘time heals.’ I observed as the wound dried and then the clotted blood and destroyed skin formed a dark ugly looking scab that was always itchy. I often felt like peeling this scab off, not because it was ugly, but there was this urge I have no idea where it came from but I felt some kind of satisfaction in peeling the dark dried scab off. I really had to resist the temptation because I knew that it would just take longer for my wound to heal if I peeled off that ugly protective scab. Sometimes when not paying attention I subconsciously peeled it off only to make the wound fresh and bloody again. The wound has since healed and left a scar on my wrist a constant reminder that i should turn off a chainsaw when I am not actively cutting something.
This experience led me to understand emotional wounds which also need time to heal. Blood also oozes out of them, the blood then clots and forms an itchy protective layer with which one always feels like peeling-off.
Emotional pain comes in many forms; death of a loved one, betrayal, disappointment etc. It is mostly associated with someone you care about. I am going to focus on pain caused after breaking up with a partner as this is what I have recently went through and my physical wound helped me to understand the emotional one.
The skin represents the role you play in your relationship. The skin is faced by a tough task of keeping the organs safe in this case you keep all the memories the moments, the emotions, the children, the assets safe from the brutality of external forces.
The skin is tough. It is what everyone can see and it conceals everything else inside. Some times there comes ‘chainsaws’ that the skin stand no chance against. Relationships also have challenges that cut right through them and let out well protected feelings like love… Blood oozing out of the broken skin relates to Love oozing out of a relationship. It could also be the good traits, feelings, memories that keep the relationship alive.
The more injuries the relationship gets and the intensity of the injuries determines whether the relationship will survive or not. At some point the injuries are unbearable and the relationship ends. At this point when one is fresh out of a relationship they have to look at that fresh wound everyday, take care of it, clean it, bandage it so that it may heal nicely and form ‘beautiful’ scars.
After a break-up the pain of the emotional injury is excruciating. The protective layer which puts all your emotions intact has been breached and out comes memories moments, feelings of anger, betrayal, regret etc. If one doesn’t take care of this wound it would get an infection and that is where depression and other terrible conditions comes in and it will be much more difficult to treat the depression compared to recovering from the wound.
As you treat your emotional wounds by being positive and assuring yourself that everything will be OK and also through help of friends and family who are there for you, the fresh wound dries up and forms a scab. That though is not the end of the problem. Every time you look at that temporary protective scab that will form the base of new skin it always itches. It is like it wants to be peeled off. This doesn’t happen when one is asleep or busy with something. Just when you are idling then the itch comes. This itch comes from the memories that flood your mind when you are not busy. It could be good memories of your ex or the terrible situation that led to your break up. It is even worse if you have to be in contact with your ex. For example if you have children or businesses together. You will always feel like scratching off the protective scab and it is kind of satisfying when you peel it off. The consequences though, are that it will take much longer to heal and probably result into a serious infection. That itch is the aftermath of the pain that you went through or maybe the loneliness, the feeling of betrayal, hate, anger. The urge to scratch the scab off on the other-hand is some form of pay back, punishment, revenge to get even with your ex and that is somewhat temporarily satisfying. The result though is more pain, more blood coming out and the wound taking much longer to heal. Worse still the risk of a serious infection and huge ugly scars.
More often than not, external forces affected the healing of my wound I would bump my wrist on something and the bleeding would start all over again or a fly would find my wound to be the most attractive place to chill. Friends and other people will always tamper with the healing process of your emotional wound, sometimes with no ill intentions and by and large they want to motivate you to get-even, making that itch more severe. It took me a long time to get the people I was hanging out with to quit sending me back to the past.
As I type this blog I can see how beautiful my scar has become. It could have been prettier and healed much faster if I had not given in to the urge to scratch it. My emotional wounds are also healed. The moment you look at your scar and not have the urge to scratch it then your wound has healed. The moment you look at your past and/or cross paths with your ex and not have negative emotions then your emotional wounds have healed. No matter how itchy it is don’t give in, it will heal into a ‘beautiful scar’ always reminding you how not to do what put it there in the first place.